today

today I understood, albeit momentarily,
the will as the only way to God.
only the will is sharp enough to speed neatly through the gravity of material things.

always before I have misunderstood the nature of the will.
the will is not an enforcement officer at the centre of my life
it is rather the harnessing of all my resources for a creative purpose:
[the will towards God is nothing if not creative.]
a martialling station of wherewithal.

the will does not suppress as I had thought,
rather it enables.
but the will has no aesthetic beauty.
nor has it space, nor time, nor seperateness from 'me'.
perhaps because I am a bear of very little brain
I have only been able to perceive this by a long process of elimination:
a fleeting glimpse into an essential truth
'make hay while the sun shines!'