a youtube comment

 An interesting youtube video was followed by a cascade of comments: many by atheists or agnostics but increasingly by believers and seekers too. I exchanged several comments with one poster. I had mentioned in a previous post that I do not think it necessary to believe that the resurrection happened as an historical event. He queried this whereupon I wrote a fairly long post which helped me put into words - not for the first time - what I presently believe. This is what I wrote.
For years I wrestled with this problem assuming just as you do that, if the resurrection didn´t happen, then the whole thing must be a bunch of lies. Again it was the psalms that initially shed light on this for me. (It´s very difficult to talk about the resurrection "not actually happening" without sounding flippant and that´s the last thing I want to do.) 
I read a book about Jesus by John Dominic Crossan a few years ago. He said some things that really shocked me at first. That Jesus´ body was most likely thrown in a lime pit by the Romans following the crucifixion. But then I began to feel a strange relief. Somehow this seemingly terrible truth made the gospel story even more sacred. 
The whole of the gospel is really about the crucifixion and how the disciples felt about it and responded to it. What IS real I am quite certain is that the disciples, following the terrible loss of Jesus were completely bewildered just as the gospel tells us but, as they sat praying for some sort of guidance, something extraordinary happens which they can only describe as the coming of the Spirit. They suddenly SEE, in the prophets and the psalms and their prayer, what was foretold and that Jesus´ death was NOT an end at all but a beginning. But how to describe such a revelation except by proclaiming that Jesus lives? I think the myth starts there - not as a lie but as the only way to express what was happening in their own lives. Generation after generation of followers learned from the disciples and understood it in their hearts and thus eventually the gospels come to be written - decades after. The resurrection DOES happen but it happens in the hearts of his followers. I have had many experiences of God - especially when reading the psalms - and I can bear witness to the reality of the presence of God and the reality of the Holy Spirit without ever have seen anything at all.
Some medieval paintings of the crucifixion are decorated with angels and a profound holiness pervades the atmosphere despite the horrific nature of the event and I think this is exactly what the gospel writers are aiming to express. We need to read the gospel in the same way that we look at wonderful painting. Reality imbued with holiness.
A deeper reality.
More real that real.
Does any of that make sense?
I must say it does me a lot of good to try to express this in words!
Thank you for the opportunity!