days at caldey: 

through a passage in a book about meister eckhart I realised that at some point, the prayer has to stop. ie. my efforts at prayer have to stop, and that the spirit of God must be allowed to take over;
not me steering the boat, but you;
painful, effortful prayer of the last few days (weeks actually) led me to realise that I needed to 'step aside'.

when I stopped praying and listened instead, in a trusting way - sure of your presence and not fretting about your absence - a weight was lifted.

you were able to sit beside me and comfort me in my aches and pains.