today

a crisis this morning: renewed rage over several things 'hampered' my prayer again. [didn't they become embedded in it rather than hampering?] this seemed to grow out of my email to liz yesterday evening: recalling recent difficult events
and this afternoon: dismay at the quartet.
I have to remember two things: to go forward and not back; to recall the need for faith to persevere as much with my prayer as with my music. and the need to remember where this music is actually coming from and the way in which I am writing it as well as the fundamental reason for it . . . . the finished product is NOT what it's about. I MUST remember this and not be daunted by inadequacy and inconsistency . . .