it doesn't matter

the most essential thing about this blog
is that it mustn't matter
if nobody else understands.
(and mostly it doesn't).
the only thing must be to carve some sort of path
across the ploughed field.

I have always felt vaguely guilty
about being a private person.
I felt duty-bound to try to be a public one.
the result: total failure.
the trouble is:
I was never quite sure what that actually involved

there's a ying and a yang there somewhere I suppose.
seeing more clearly in retrospect:
(this might be playing with words
in a salinger kind of way)
it's quite impossible to be even a middlingly-good public person
without being a very very much better private one.
and I'm not talking morals here.