contradictions

how to put this:
it was in those moments when I became acutely aware of your absence -
that hole in my soul perhaps?
that I knew your presence!
I am still quietly reeling; it had been such sleepy, lazy prayer.
up at the point as the light faded.

The Spirit loves you so
and is His love also a yearning?
Silly!
All love is a yearning!
Unquenchable?
This sounds in one way tragic.
but this is not the case
because the kernel of yearning is delight.
that brightest centre of a flame.

contradictions abound where you are concerned.
and I suspect that you delight in these.
teasing us.