more and more it is clear:

I cannot come to you alone.

my powerlessness is so manifest.

your hand is in mine . . .when I reach out.

when I turn away, call me!

my need for you echoes through me . . . 

and then is forgotten. . . .evaporating into an impenetrable void.

it isnt that it really goes away - I just lose the power of sight.

rather as though I forgot how to breathe:

though desperate for air I no longer  remember how to take it in.