outside: raging blizzard.

inside tonight, things became clear as crystal.

fleetingly, I understood.

also

yesterday, amidst hefty piles of despair I glimpsed joy again because I understood praise.

how to and why to.

came across a sermon by br Ian at Mucknell

From a disgraceful birth Christ went on to live a disgraceful life; wasting his time, so some people thought, with those who couldn’t give him anything back in terms of influence or material wealth or kudos;  wasting his powers, so some thought, in changing water into good wine at the end of the banquet;  allowing the apparent waste of costly ointment,  apparently wasting his words on those who couldn’t, or didn’t want to understand; wasting his life, so Peter thought, to die as a criminal.

It is a life and death marked by a certain wastefulness.  A disgrace, some might say, in using his talents and gifts and authority and power for the wrong people and in the wrong ways.

and from the 'word in the desert' blog:
What am I after when I judge my brother? As long as I do not see him as the Lord sees him, all my judgments will be wrong.

their plan is only to destroy;
they take pleasure in lies.
with their mouth they utter blessing
but in their heart they curse.
 psalm 61

when I say this and understand that it is about ME I know joy.
I cannot explain why. Today I understood.