I watched sense and sensibility tonight (emma thompson). afterwards I found that my improvising was much better. my music is mostly inspired by other people. solitary prayer is not conducive to great music. I knew that before I think but it's something I have to understand and accept.

a thought from earlier:
heaven is not crowded.
not because there are not crowds there, but because of the nature of heaven itself.
I was thinking of that passage in revelations 16(?):
and I heard a voice from heaven, as the noise of many waters, and as the voice of great thunder.

like a world cup stadium, although I either think of the colosseum in rome or the madjeski stadium in reading which is the only place that I have actually experienced noise like that.
it's clear that john too had experienced this.

but it isnt like that.
there will be no heaving crowds.
but neither will it be one-to-one.
it will be as it is: a myriad of small local  communities.

you are the shape of reality