yesterday's post illustrates the shortcoming of prose to describe things of the spirit. (well, my prose anyway.) today has shown that something really does seem to have changed in the relationship between me as musician (and very much a lost one) and me as person. [I was going to write the word christian there, but somehow it doesnt seem fundamental enough.

tonight, singing vespers: joy . . .
because I was doing what I need to be doing,
what I want to be doing,
and what I am called to be doing. 
isnt that total freedom?