to start I jotted down a couple of additions to my latest piece which goes nowhere and something twigged:
if it doesnt want to go anywhere then it doesnt need to.
thinking back to yesterday: wild joyful improvising around merlin.
the juxtaposition is startling but important.
also the discovery this week of the joyful nature of far more of the psalms than I had previously realised and the need to sing them in the light of this.
singing presently essential even when the sound becomes atrocious.
the struggles recently to understand have led to impasse and today I saw that this is me getting in your way over and over.
my incessant desire to understand (to 'see') is a barrier to you.
this week has been about giving and the next stage is not to be afraid to receive. I still do not trust enough. on the slippery slope I still hold back and cling to old ways and all of this holds me back.