Thomas Merton

"I cannot discover God in myself and myself in Him unless I have the courage to face myself as I am, with all my limitations, and others as they are, with all their limitations."

seeing myself as you see me. 
only possible when we know that you still love us despite all of those limitations.

but actually it isn't a question of  "despite" but "with".
so . . . .
only possible when we know that you still love us with all of those limitations. 

it's still wrong because . . .
you love us with all our limitations. 
Therein lies the fundamental problem: 
failing to accept our own limitations we will almost certainly fail to accept those of others.
knowing that you love us anyway is the only way we are pulled out of this cycle. 

Both office and mass were particularly meaningful today. 

I change the words a lot in both. A lot of the grumbling psalms are presently about and for the suffering people of Gaza and the West Bank. 

Today is the feast of St Teresa and there was a very lovely reading from her "way" in the office of readings. Familiar and loving. Always this idea of God as "Your majesty" which smacks of Spanish absolutism to be sure but somehow twisted rather nicely. 

The mass reading too. Abraham sends away Hagar the maid and her son who she tries to abandon but can't! God is there yes - in her actions.

dualism and the trinity

 Paul's insistence on bodily resurrection is hard to understand but today I realised that it is a way to counter dualism: the separation of body and spirit which has been such a problem for centuries and has been for me too. 

in you the rift is healed. 
not in a "world to come" but now. 
you see us whole even when we cannot. 
though you try to show us. 

the trinity 
yes three in one
but more one than three. 

(and these are not two separate issues)a

long ago at Worth

 recalling my response long ago at Worth to confusing and overwhelming joy:
suspicion, doubt, fear of self-inflation
I couldn't believe.
I even thought it ugly
I refused.

now I see more clearly:
you cannot but give.
not just to me of course! 
but to all who call! 

freely and joyfully.

now I will not refuse. 

a little clarity

 today: unexpected
a little clarity.

first
the place where it seems you cannot possibly be
there indeed you are!

second
you share everything -
sometimes it seems too much!

Beethovenian immensity:
all gift! 

this last I have seriously misunderstood