tonight

tonight it is so clear to me
that nothing good is lost

I am remembering yesterday:
how you threw me right off balance
I stuttered and felt uncomfortable:
a fish out of water.
but I am also remembering how you sewed distant things together:
one time and a place to another time and a place
(for there can be no time without place,)
a living tapestry of old and new.

just as I cannot be without a time and a place
(however uncomfortable that may be)
you cannot be within a time and a place.
and yet we meet!

do we meet, then, in a no-man's land?
no, not a no-man's land:
more a yes-man's land

despair

in this hideous place
your beauty sustains

the last two days

aware again of this strange inexplicable storm.
upon which doubt and fear - insidious seeds -
are thrown into the teeth of the gale
with one apparent aim:
to separate me from you.

we walk into the wind
anger and despair now a fuel

your purpose

I glimpsed something simple today
simple and completely essential.
missed all these years (though glimpsed before)
and still not fully understood.
its not what I do, or produce, or create that counts
it's the me that's left afterwards.

it sounds like an obvious wisdom, but without you it makes no sense
because of omnipresent death.

which takes me back to the time thing:
you ease it from sharp brittleness into something flexible.

I had strange thoughts about reincarnation a day or so ago.
nothing I could put my finger on, but I could see why people conceive of it.
for me the problem is uniqueness.
reincarnated as uniquely me or uniquely another?
but then perhaps the new problem becomes a misunderstanding of uniqueness in the first place. . . ?