it's as though I have stepped into a world I know nothing about.
psalms are more essential than ever but it is as though I had never really heard them before.
Prayer was frightening: I didn't know why I needed to pray although glimpsed memories saw me through this. (Crowborough, Tunbridge Wells, Newport, Iceland, Eastbourne, Reading . . .)

My lifeline: 'I am yours and I must be yours'.
this is all I really know.

The sense of being in a totally unknown place was at times overwhelming.
[I was anxious to jot down some of the things that were occurring to me but they are all gone now.]

I have had no news from st hugh's and this might be partly the problem.
No niche to fit into. . . . . as though my longing for a clear identity is standing between us.

that the prayer is essential remains clear in my mind but even a single day missed might send me reeling.

I am reading a wonderful biography of Samuel Johnson. Such a warm person!