casting around, finding nothing:
I find you; waiting. 

frustrated at your absence
suddenly I know your presence!

in your absence we find you
 
that was today.
tomorrow I will have no clue

 I know that if you could, you would.

you do not judge as the world judges.
you turn the judgements of the world upside down.
your criteria are not at all what we expect.
not at all! 

we call you king
but your kingship is not what we understand by kingship.
another thing we get entirely wrong.

and we can only understand this by listening.  . . . . .



when we listen you overturn all of our preconceptions.
one by one.

in your silence we learn the real truth.

but if we stop listening - even for a day -
we forget everything!

it is only your presence that gives us understanding.
things that we can never know, or even remember, otherwise.

today I learnt

Today I learnt (again) that we do not need to understand;
(we can never understand)
we are not called to understand! (try as we might)
only to rejoice; to bless; to celebrate; to thank.
Not to bolster or to curry favour or placate
but only to share in your own rejoicing, your own celebration.

celebration wins over suffering.

You are already so much younger than I am!

more contradictions

 In the end, though there will be nothing to show. this will not matter.
You are, and the truth is that this is enough.
actually much more than enough.

The psalmist says "What is there to wait for?"
and it has nearly always been a problematic line for me;
suggesting emptiness; a lack of meaning.
.
"Why even bother?"
A bit like the "all is vanity" stuff. 

But the world shouts its joy in it all
and so do You!